


Not the answer I was looking for

by mielipieli



Series: Hogwart's Heroes [2]
Category: Batman (Comics), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics), Teen Titans (Comics)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-22
Updated: 2016-12-22
Packaged: 2018-09-11 04:29:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8953696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mielipieli/pseuds/mielipieli
Summary: Jason and Dick are little shits.





	

The only person who receives as many howlers as Dick (why does he prank so many people again) comes to Hogwarts two years later and joined his family a year before that. Jason not only pranks people, no he also manages to do things „in the name of science“. The other thing he does is that he beats bullies up. With bullies Dick had always settled for subtler things instead. And his friends usually follow his lead with hexes and herbs. But neither Jason nor his friends Kory Anders, a half witch half some mystical creature Gryffindor Jason befriended on his first train ride, and Roy were for subtlety. Sometimes Dick thought they just enjoyed chaos.

It wasn’t much of a surprise if at least once a moth a howler started to yell „JASON PETER TODD“, went on for a few minute and then flew halfway across the room towards a horrified Dick to yell „RICHARD JOHN GRAYSON.“ Sometimes it was the other way around. Dick still wasn’t sure whether Bruce decided which offense was more serious or if he just threw a coin. On rare occasions when Dick and Jason had gotten into a fight together or actually caused chaos by working together (those occasions were rare but did happen) the howler would even yell „RICHARD JOHN GRAYSON AND JASON PETER TODD!“ at twice the normal volume. 

And because both of their friends were asses and just couldn’t be nice for one second they burst into laughter every single time. Once when she was angry at Dick Babs had changed his alarm to Bruce’s yell of „RICHARD JOHN GRAYSON“ and turned it to 3 am. And because Dick had a habit of jumping out of bed when Bruce yelled at him (Too many weird pranks. Just too many) and Babs had gotten someone from his own house to tie his feet together (or maybe she had done it herself. he still didn’t know) Dick ended up with some pretty bad bruises. 

Jason on the other hand showed time and time again his talent of pissing everyone off. He even managed to piss off the eagle knocker that was the gateway to the Ravenclaw common room. But the thing was that with Jason Todd one was practically guaranteed to get into the common room without any delay. His answers were never what the eagle wanted to hear but they did get him into the room. Here’s why:

„What’s harder to catch the faster you run?“, the eagle asks.

„Me“, Jason says without missing a beat and Roy facepalms. 

„Jason, that’s not going to work this way.“

„That is not the answer I am looking for“, is the answer Jason gets.

„It’s not wrong, is it?“ The door opens but Roy could swear it’s taking longer than usual. 

——————————

„What belongs to you but others use it more than you do?“

„My freaking Star Trek shirt since Tim apparently wears it all the time while I’m here. Why the hell did I leave it at home?“, Jason replies angrily.

„Not the answer I was looking for“, Jason still swears for years afterward that the eagle sighed while the door opened. 

———————————

„What flies without wings?“

„Wizards, you idiot.“

„Not the answer… oh, just go in already.“

————————

„What is the end of a rainbow?“

„The letter w.“

„Not the… Actually that is the answer I was looking for.“

The twenty fifth years around the tiny first year seem outraged.


End file.
